by Ed de Guzman

In John 20:19-29, Jesus appears to the disciples twice following his resurrection from the dead. The first time, Thomas isn’t there. Maybe he’s out getting supplies. Maybe he’s seeing other disciples who are hiding in another location. Maybe he’s gathering information or caring for someone or the only one brave enough to head out into the streets knowing the danger. We simply don’t know Thomas’ reasons or motivation.

When he returns, there’s great excitement about Jesus’ appearance. That’s understandable. Thomas’ response is also understandable. He wants what the other disciples now have. He wants to see Jesus, too.

Imagine what Thomas is thinking that long week between appearances. I imagine Thomas doubting himself far more than Jesus.

• Why didn’t Jesus wait till we were all here?
• Is Jesus mad at me or disappointed in me?
• Did he abandon me as I abandoned him?
• Was I not worthy of seeing him?
• Will he come again?

Jesus does come again and gives Thomas what he needs. Jesus does the same for us as well. – Lisa <><

Jesus, you give me what I need
What I need to believe
What I need to live

Like my brother Thomas,
I lay the doubting down
You come for me
You want me as well
You want us all

The gift of your presence is for me
The gift of your peace is for me
So too the power of your Spirit
The very Breath of Life
Abundant Life in your name

Jesus, you give me what I need
Seeing
Signs
Spirit
Wounds
Words
Wonder
Peace
Power
Sending
Oh My Jesus
My Lord and My God

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What I need © 2019 Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia
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