Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back — in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. – Frederick Buechner
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. -Mark Twain
Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved. – Marcus Antonius
Whatever the offense, a fundamental rule for processing anger is this: Do not harm yourself or anyone else. We must learn to manage the physical stimuli that grip us after a hurt. Anger can be as challenging to control as a wild stallion. When wronged, we need to let our emotions subside before acting. This may mean taking a break and removing ourselves physically from the situation. During this time-out, it is important not to replay the offense. – Kathleen Fischer, Forgiving Your Family
Anger, Your Friend by Steve Garnaas Holmes
Anger is not a sin. It’s a feeling.
It’s not your enemy. It’s also not righteousness.
Anger may arise in the face of injustice, or happenstance,
or almost nothing at all.
But it is not “against” those things.
It’s not about those things at all,
but about your response to those things.
Anger is a response to your powerlessness.
Otherwise, you’d simply fix what was wrong.
Anger is your loyal friend: it’s giving you a message
and won’t leave till you get it.
So don’t neglect or suppress your anger:
it will sit there and seethe in your mind’s basement
and become toxic to you and others,
and, consciously or not, you will weaponize it.
Don’t turn your anger against anybody, including yourself.
Just listen to it: it’s telling you about your powerlessness.
And it’s telling you what you care about.
Listen to your anger, and ask:
1. What is not right?
2. Do I really care about this?
This anger could just be a conditioned response.
But it’s letting you know of your misplaced desire
for power and control.
If this thing is not worth caring about,
You can let your anger be, without reacting to it. Just let it be.
And let yourself be powerless. (After all, you are.)
3. If I do care about this, what can I do?
Remember, you’re still powerless.
But let your anger direct your attention to what you can do—
not to hurt, to avenge, or to make yourself feel less powerless,
but to make the situation better.
In action, you will regain your power.
Then thank your friend anger.
Matthew 5:21-25 NRSV
Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first, be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.”
Because true prayer is rooted in surrender, anger is the surest way not only to be distracted in prayer but also to be defeated in our attempts to pray. Anger gives rise to thoughts and images which poison the soul. This is why Jesus said that we cannot allow grudges to exist when we are worshiping God. This is why we cannot focus on the speck in someone else’s eye while ignoring the log in ours. The manner of our praying is first to remove the blockages so that God’s “water of life” can flow unimpeded into our lives. – Steve Harper, The Manner of our Praying
Making sacred space for genuine mourning over our wounds is essential within the journey of healthy forgiveness. Genuine mourning involves many feelings, including anger and sorrow, which are closely intertwined. …For some of us, it feels safer and easier to rage than to cry. Rage is often our masked tears.
– Flora Slosson Wuellner Forgiveness, the Passionate Journey
Yes, I was angry. And I was a little afraid. After all, I’ve not been free in so long. But, when I felt that anger well up inside of me, I realized that if I hated them after I got outside that gate, then they would still have me. I wanted to be free so I let it go.
~Nelson Mandela upon leaving prison after 27 years of confinement. This quote opens an excellent article by Gail Brenner entitled 10 Life-Changing Facts About Anger
A Blessing for Times of Anger
Your anger is real
Your pain is real
Your fear is real
In the honesty of this moment
May you remember
Your Defender is at hand
Anger’s fire will not consume you
Pain’s waves will not overwhelm you
Fear’s furor will not run away with you
God’s love is stronger
Making all things new
From death to life
May the Promise claim you
And embrace you
And empower you to
Pick up perspective
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A Blessing for Times of Anger © 2012 Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia
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